Posts tagged academics
Literacy Narrative
Nov 26th
My earliest memory involving pre-formal reading and storytelling is that of my dad telling me his invented tales of a little girl and little boy growing up in Nova Scotia. I cannot remember at what age I was when he first began telling me these stories, but it is definitely the first thing I can remember. These stories seemed to have a very loose plot structure. The little boy and little girl from Nova Scotia lived on the Bay of Fundy and usually experienced some kind of weather phenomena, or their experience echoed something from my dad’s own past. There was no overarching moral to his stories; the importance was using my imagination to paint a picture of what a life alternative to my own would be like.
I always remember my parents reading, be it solitary or to me – or even, to each other. My mom would read Sherlock Holmes stories out loud on long trips. My dad would read the Sunday comics to me. When I got to be about 4 years old, he began reading Laura Ingalls Wilder’s “Little House” books to me. That was the first experience of relating to a character in a story from a different time, for me, and it was a really powerful experience. To this day I can remember huge scenes from the “Little House” books as if they were from my own memory. I formed a real relationship with those stories and characters. Personal involvement in stories seems pretty key, looking back. Even with stories like “The Three Billy Goats Gruff,” my family and I would re-enact the scene in which the goats “trip-trap” across the bridge. Every bridge I crossed suddenly had a troll underneath it.
So, reading was very important in my house. It was not something that was explicitly stressed, but rather implicitly so. Even in the television I watched, there was an emphasis on literacy. I learned my alphabet watching Sesame Street. I continued to develop the value of a good story by watching Reading Rainbow and going to the library frequently. I learned how to read outside of the classroom setting. I remember how nerve wracked I was when my mother told my teacher that I could read already and the teacher sat me down in front of fifteen or so of my peers, who weren’t reading yet, and had me read to them. To this day, I remember feeling the embarrassment of stumbling over words, uncertain if I was reading correctly. I thought they would think I was a bad reader or not a reader at all – maybe faking it somehow.
After learning to read, I became voracious. I devoured book after book. My mother would take me to the library on a regular basis and I would walk out with an armload and finish half of them on the car ride home. In the summer, I would participate in the library summer reading initiative, earning prizes for the books I read. I continued reading as if it were a competitive sport in school with Accelerated Reader, always choosing the books worth the most points and reading them as quickly as I could. I would regularly be at the top of the Accelerated Reader list as far as who had the most points, as a result.
I remember honing my skills as a reader by recording myself reading a story I had written and illustrated. The cover was made of leftover wallpaper and my drawings and near illegible scrawls were stapled inside. I vaguely remember it being about a dog named BoBo. Everyone had a story about BoBo the dog, as it was part of a handmade flash card system my teacher used to teach us phonics.
Confessions and Asides
Oct 23rd
I write in my sleep. No, really. Does anyone else do this I wonder? I’m certain they do. I’ve done this since high school. I should keep a notebook and a pencil at bedside, but I don’t. I usually think that my idea is brilliant enough that I will remember it, but this is rarely the case. When will I ever learn my lesson? I got lucky in the past day and a half and had something to scribble on as I faded in and out of that realm between asleep and awake, where I’m barely conscious enough to have rational though…
I’m a horrible graduate student, I must admit. I don’t keep up with my readings. I just can’t force myself to read all of something, sometimes even any of something, when it doesn’t hold my interest. I desperately need to overcome this because it creates huge gaps in my education that I might need! I’m sure it already has. I must have read fewer book than any person holding a BA in English. The real problem is that I’m a snob. I don’t even like reading trashy genre fiction (despite a former affinity for the Twilight series… I’m ashamed. very ashamed).
Right now I’m working on a short essay on the “new woman” of 1890s literature. It’s a topic that I actually find very interesting and would love to expand upon it, but the resources at my library are sorely, sorely lacking. I could get stuff on interlibrary loan, something I’ve never done before, but I really am not prepared to go through with that hassle just yet. Besides, with the amount of work I have to do within the next few weeks… I just don’t know. I need to write two papers this weekend and begin preparing for a group project.
I really had no goal with this little bloglet. I suppose I could express my disdain for group projects, but that is something that everyone shares, so why bother adding my vitriol?
Writers Block
Oct 18th
I have writers’ block. I don’t know what to write here, in my papers, anywhere. I’m not much of a journaller, but let’s just go ahead and say, “I can’t even figure out what to journal.” Let’s cover all the bases, shall we?
I got a B on my first real grad school paper. An 85. That’s not good. Sure, it’s not terrible. It’s not bad… but considering the loftiness of my academic goals (however naive they might be), I need to be performing at a much higher level. I had a lot of difficulty with that first paper – you know, the one on Jessica in The Merchant of Venice? I found this really great article that basically supported everything I wanted to argue. The problem? It made all my points for me. I couldn’t figure out how to make my argument and integrate the source into it. I relied far too heavily on the article and paid the price with my grade. My real flaw is waiting too long to write. I’m a procrastinator at heart… and I do feel that I work best under pressure…
Yet, yesterday, I began working on a paper that isn’t due until Tuesday. A 6-7 page paper on Measure for Measure. And it’s almost done. The only problem is that I really haven’t slept at all and I’m not tired. Maybe I’m manic or something, I don’t know. I’m glad I’m able to direct my energies to my paper instead of something frivolous, like WoW. Or, God forbid, cleaning my room.
So, yeah. Writers block. I do have it, despite my sudden ability to write both my paper and this blog. I think it stems from my fear of standing behind my own opinion and of my problems with my vocabulary. Despite being a good (not avid, anymore) reader, my vocabulary is sub-par compared to other people with degrees in literature. Especially MA students? I don’t know. It prevents me from writing more fluidly and floridly. Not that I wish to be excessively verbose or use words that I don’t use in regular speech.
I just have to keep reminding myself that I’m just getting into the swing of this whole graduate school thing this semester, that I’m learning and improving and that that is a good thing.